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School bullying and online bullying has become the new American challenge. Recent statistics show that 77 percent of American students reported being bullied and harassed. 15 percent reported three or more instances of bullying in a one month period and 37 percent of parents worry about their child's physical safety when he/she is at school. The facts show needs to be addressed.

Bullying has gained national attention because of violent episodes that gave forth to headlines like, "Bullied to death". This hyped coverage may give the impression that bullying is limited to spectacular and extreme behavior in urban environments. The coverage may have actually hurt anti bullying efforts because it defined bullying as something that happens to "others". Nothing is farther form the truth. Studies, statistics and a little common sense will lead to the conclusion that bullying is a problem, in one form or another, throughout American schools.

Schools are responding to bullying behavior in two very opposite ways. The proactive schools are adopting anti bullying curriculum, conducting assemblies, and punishing cyber bullying, physical bullying and gossip. In short, they have taken a "not in our school approach". They have admitted there is a threat of bulling behavior in the school and they are addressing it. The "in denial" schools are taking an entirely different approach, they are doing nothing. They are doing nothing because they "don't have a bullying problem".

Saying there is no bullying problem on your campus is like saying there are no students on campus. Especially if you have a middle school campus. There are some things that are just going to happen on Middle school campuses unless the administration takes a strong stand against them: lice and bullying come to mind. You better have a school wide plan in place, or things can get out of control. Administrators and sometimes teachers, have two very different reasons for saying there is no bullying problem. One is that they do not actually believe they have a problem. The other is that they do not want to admit to having a problem. When dealing with any negative social behavior, denial is dangerous.

Principals and central office personnel may be afraid of taking a proactive stance against bullying because they will be admitting they have bullying behavior occurring in their school. They are afraid there may be some negative fallout to adopting an anti bullying curriculum or bringing in an anti bullying speaker. They are afraid of "how it might look" if they address bullying at a school wide or district wide level. In all my years as an anti bullying assembly presenter, I have never seen a negative response to a proactive stance against bullying.

Gently encourage administrators (do not blame) by letting them know they will get positive press, not negative, for taking on this tough issue. Parents, students and teachers will be glad that the administration has made decisions based on reality and not appearance. True, by conducting an anti bullying assembly or adopting an anti bullying curriculum, the administrator is admitting there may by a problem at his school. However what he/she is really demonstrating is an awareness of the predatory behaviors that have permeated youth culture. His school may not have had much of a bullying problem ten years ago, but like the rest of the nation, it has one now. An administrator that takes on tough issues like bullying shows he/she is there for the community, not him/her self.

You can deal with reluctant administrators by letting them know their anti bullying efforts will garner positive press, admiration, positive support form parents, and most importantly, changed student behavior. You can move administrators from denial to action by using logic and evidence. If bullying is happening on your school campus, let administrators know about it in very specific, not general terms.

Calling an administrator and saying that there is a bullying problem on campus is not as effective as saying, "On Sept 2nd my son came home scraped up and said he got 'jumped" behind the C bus by Brad Johnson and Allen Jones after school." Don't call and say," my daughter has been receiving hateful comments on her Face book and email. Instead save all the actual comments and forward them to the administrator. In short, don't make sweeping and alarmist accusations. Simply show the evidence.

If you have an administrator that admits there is a bullying problem but is reluctant to take it on, reassure him that a proactive stance will be well received and bear long term positive results. If you have an administrator that is in denial, present the facts without placing blame. Bullying that goes unaddressed or unnoticed will only mutate and grow. When it comes to bullying, denial is dangerous.